Hmm, so someone had a 'really' busy weekend apparently...Yea, so do I :P Friday Saturday and Sunday. Concert was great. The turn out wasn't big but good enough. Need more prayers in support. Well, other than the PA, it wasn't too bad. In fact, after the concert, I wanted to perform more. Dunno about my team mates but for me, I wanted. But not on that day itself. Lost half of my voice during the praise session, and during somewhere, my voice actually broke :P Like out of tune ??? :P LOL But my mic was soft, so couldn't be heard. Haha, good thing ;) Sigh, I was actually losing my voice the night before during our last practice cos the mics were much louder. Plus I was standing on a strategic spot where I was surrounded by the amps, 2 keyboards, drums, and bass guitar [almost every single instrument we used, except the electric & acoustic guitars]. So, well, on the day of the concert, it just got worst :P Ahh, whatever.
Then on Sunday, we went to Holiday Villa for the concert which is inclusive of hi-tea, and yea, te vocal group was good. But well, their genre of music is a lil different. Ours is contemporary rock, whereas theirs is like sentimental / soft rock. Yea, we are largely influnced by Hillsongs' youth, like Planet Shakers and United Live, so the songs we played are mostly taken from their albums. For now, we only had one worship song which was written by ourselves.
And prior to the concert, I had a song stuck in my head. Our first praise song 'One Way', and now after the S'pore vocal group concert, the song 'Faith of the Heart' is stuck in my head. It's actually nice tho, editting a few words and harmonising it. The song itself is quite meaningful also.
It's been a long road, getting from there to here.
It's been a long time, but my time is finally near.
And I can feel the change in the wind right now.
Nothing's in my way.
And they're not gonna hold me down no more,
No they're not gonna hold me down.
Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my LORD will take me.
I've got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, I've got faith, faith of the heart.
It's been a long night. Trying to find my way.
Been through the darkness. Now I finally have my day.
And I will see my dream come alive at last. I will touch the sky.
And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna change my mind.
Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my LORD will take me.
I've got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart.
I've known the wind so cold, and seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain.
But I'll be fine.
Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my LORD will take me.
I've got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith.
I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my LORD will take me.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, I've got faith, faith of the heart.
It's been a long road.
Ergh, lazy now. Hmm, gotta prepare or tomorrow's date ;) Well, will blog again sometime soon ;P Heheh...nites.
A simple blog about a simple person living life day by day in a complicated world.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Eeeeekkkk!!!! Stupid mosquitoes. Windows were left open for the whole day till evening 8-ish so yea you would expect mosquitoes would come flying in. 3 bites on my left arm!! Sheeesh bloodsuckers.
I had a really busy weekend. Went to 2 concerts - Julz's church youth concert on saturday and another concert by the Singaporean christian vocal group 'Crosswinds'. My darling's concert was pretty good, better than I expected, and also considering it's their first time. Only bad thing was the sound was a lil muffled, or they didn't sing clear or loud enough. PA system isn't that good too so yea can't expect much. But I didn't regret going though. Saw my darling as a backup singer singing, and also acting as a demon in a drama. Pretty fun :)
After the concert we went to Jia Yee's birthday party. Jia Yee's a friend of Julz by the way. Was sort of a late celebration cuz her birthday was on Tuesday actually. Her house was reaaaaalyyy nice. A 3-storey house in Puchong. Looks new too I guess they just moved in there or something. Anyway the food was okay, had lamb, curry chicken, rice, noodles, satay (yum!!), some finger food, and kuih melayu and fruits as desserts. Can't remember if there were fruits, but, whatever :P oOoOhhhh!! Had ice kacang too! Wanted to get a bowl of ice kacang but then worship session was starting so we got hushed into the house. Came back out and the caterers were packing everything. *frown* Took a bus back from Puchong later, and my darling slept over, on my comfortable bed while I had to sleep on a thin matress in the study room. hmmph! ;)
Reminder to self: Have some ice kacang before leaving for the US.
Woke up really tired today at bout 9.45am. My darling was still sleeping in my room, so I had to wake her up, though she only did like after 15 minutes of me trying to wake her up. Lazy pig!! :P *runs* So yea we arrived late to church, bout 15 mintues late and the worship was already ending. Didn't really listen to the sermon cuz I was trying the whole time to get my eyes to stay open, though it didn;t work most of the time.
Crosswinds' concert was after church, at the Holiday Villa Subang Jaya. It was a Hi-Tea concert, plus a message from a pastor from Singapore. Food was good. Not excellent but good. And they had bread pudddingg!!!!! bread puddinggg!!! my fav!! mmm thinking of it now just makes me wanna... EAT. Yea, greedy pig here. The concert started about an hour after the hi-tea started, and wow, they were good. I heard they are a really sought after vocal group in Singapore, though I've never heard of them till now. Seriously, if you like Christian songs/vocal groups you would probably like theirs/them.
Well, think that's all I'll write up for today. 11.47pm, and these mosquitoes feeding on me aren't helping. Just a thought, can anyone die from lack of blood due to extreme amounts of mosquito bites? Heh, never thought of that, but I sure wouldn't wanna be the first victim.
Goodnight people!
*huggles*
I had a really busy weekend. Went to 2 concerts - Julz's church youth concert on saturday and another concert by the Singaporean christian vocal group 'Crosswinds'. My darling's concert was pretty good, better than I expected, and also considering it's their first time. Only bad thing was the sound was a lil muffled, or they didn't sing clear or loud enough. PA system isn't that good too so yea can't expect much. But I didn't regret going though. Saw my darling as a backup singer singing, and also acting as a demon in a drama. Pretty fun :)
After the concert we went to Jia Yee's birthday party. Jia Yee's a friend of Julz by the way. Was sort of a late celebration cuz her birthday was on Tuesday actually. Her house was reaaaaalyyy nice. A 3-storey house in Puchong. Looks new too I guess they just moved in there or something. Anyway the food was okay, had lamb, curry chicken, rice, noodles, satay (yum!!), some finger food, and kuih melayu and fruits as desserts. Can't remember if there were fruits, but, whatever :P oOoOhhhh!! Had ice kacang too! Wanted to get a bowl of ice kacang but then worship session was starting so we got hushed into the house. Came back out and the caterers were packing everything. *frown* Took a bus back from Puchong later, and my darling slept over, on my comfortable bed while I had to sleep on a thin matress in the study room. hmmph! ;)
Reminder to self: Have some ice kacang before leaving for the US.
Woke up really tired today at bout 9.45am. My darling was still sleeping in my room, so I had to wake her up, though she only did like after 15 minutes of me trying to wake her up. Lazy pig!! :P *runs* So yea we arrived late to church, bout 15 mintues late and the worship was already ending. Didn't really listen to the sermon cuz I was trying the whole time to get my eyes to stay open, though it didn;t work most of the time.
Crosswinds' concert was after church, at the Holiday Villa Subang Jaya. It was a Hi-Tea concert, plus a message from a pastor from Singapore. Food was good. Not excellent but good. And they had bread pudddingg!!!!! bread puddinggg!!! my fav!! mmm thinking of it now just makes me wanna... EAT. Yea, greedy pig here. The concert started about an hour after the hi-tea started, and wow, they were good. I heard they are a really sought after vocal group in Singapore, though I've never heard of them till now. Seriously, if you like Christian songs/vocal groups you would probably like theirs/them.
Well, think that's all I'll write up for today. 11.47pm, and these mosquitoes feeding on me aren't helping. Just a thought, can anyone die from lack of blood due to extreme amounts of mosquito bites? Heh, never thought of that, but I sure wouldn't wanna be the first victim.
Goodnight people!
*huggles*
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Sigh, my baby goes for these kind of things :P one pure dreamer ler :P *tee hee*
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Monday, July 19, 2004
What the foot man...got a call from the warden of my college apartment, asking me who turned off the darn fridge and made the whole house stink like mad. I said not me, not the housemate who last left. It's probably the cleaner. Then he told me the cleaner didn't go up to that apartment. He and his colleague had to clean the fridge which apparently made him puke. His boss saw them cleaning and so he told the warden to deduct our deposits as penalties. Well, if it WAS one of us who turned it off, then I wouldn't complain about the enalties. But the thing here is, my housemates and I are not the only ones who has the keys. the warden has the keys, the person-in-charge from the Students' Services Dept. has the keys, even the cleaner has the keys. So who's to blame now? They said it's not their party, neither it's ours....dang...
Well, other than that, the windows of my room and my housemate's weren't closed. The beds that were next to the windows were all soaked after the rain. The room was apparently 'flooded' and the warden had to clean it again :P And sun the mattresses. If the mattresses get spoilt or something, it'll be penalties again. I mean or things like this I dun mind paying for la, since it's my own responsibility. But as for the fridge..ugh!! No about the money..but about..ugh....I oso dunno la. Forget it. All I want is to get away from this bond.
..........*inhales*..........*exhales*.........
So what has been up today? Woke up at 9am and rushed to Sentral to meet Woon cos I was having his visa photos which he needed them for his visa application this morning. And with the fact that I slept at 5.30am in the morning, I was still energetic enough to get myself to Sentral by standing in the train for almost an hour, buy myself a hash brown and a cup of hot tea at McD's, and then watch Woon sleep in the car. ...
While waiting for him to finish up filling in the forms, I went over to Help College to print some stuff with the help of my friend. Walked over there when I thought it was near. Even his dad told me was near. And then my friend told me it's right behind the building I was in. So I went. Got a little lost within those skyscrapers around me at first, but thankfully, with the help of a kind student passing by, he showed me the way out. And yea, found my friend waiting there for me. Then la he brought me to this computer lab which ccording to him is new and it was just opened last week. He had to write down his name and time in in a book and had to tell the guy there the purpose I was with him [to show him what to print]. After that, we went downstairs to some document collection centre to collect our printing, and charged me 40sen for 4 pages. Not complaining about the $ but the way they put all these up. Get into a comp lab have to write name, then go downstairs to collect your document, then if they're printing their stuffs, you'll have to wait, and that was what happened to me. Man, why can't they all put it in ONE place? And the whole campus is like a maze. Different departments in different building which situated in different nearby spots of Damansara. Gosh, I'm starting to appreciate my own college :p ONE campus ;)
Then la the picking up part. Asked me to go McD's and I couldn't find McD's. Realised that McD's is at the main building which I had to take a feeder bus there. Hehe...made his parents turn back to the John Hancock building cos I could only find my way there. :P
Sigh, so much for today. Oh, then we went to Cyberjaya...my college this time :P Hehe..the black building. :P Woon saw Tan Sri Lim Kok Wing and said he looked like some old woman, with the hairstyle and all :P Hehe...I totally have no comment on him :P But yea, he has a very bad hairstyle. Artists should look better than those ok. ...
Yea, so those were the things that happened today. Got more actually but well, I'll just leave that for one of the books or perhaps my baby might want to blog about it :P Dunno. I've been sitting here since like.....10.30pm? Came to blog something ended up chatting and finishing the blog only now, 12.50am. Came home at 10pm and haven't even showered yet!!! Eeee...sticky and dirtyy....
Well, other than that, the windows of my room and my housemate's weren't closed. The beds that were next to the windows were all soaked after the rain. The room was apparently 'flooded' and the warden had to clean it again :P And sun the mattresses. If the mattresses get spoilt or something, it'll be penalties again. I mean or things like this I dun mind paying for la, since it's my own responsibility. But as for the fridge..ugh!! No about the money..but about..ugh....I oso dunno la. Forget it. All I want is to get away from this bond.
..........*inhales*..........*exhales*.........
So what has been up today? Woke up at 9am and rushed to Sentral to meet Woon cos I was having his visa photos which he needed them for his visa application this morning. And with the fact that I slept at 5.30am in the morning, I was still energetic enough to get myself to Sentral by standing in the train for almost an hour, buy myself a hash brown and a cup of hot tea at McD's, and then watch Woon sleep in the car. ...
While waiting for him to finish up filling in the forms, I went over to Help College to print some stuff with the help of my friend. Walked over there when I thought it was near. Even his dad told me was near. And then my friend told me it's right behind the building I was in. So I went. Got a little lost within those skyscrapers around me at first, but thankfully, with the help of a kind student passing by, he showed me the way out. And yea, found my friend waiting there for me. Then la he brought me to this computer lab which ccording to him is new and it was just opened last week. He had to write down his name and time in in a book and had to tell the guy there the purpose I was with him [to show him what to print]. After that, we went downstairs to some document collection centre to collect our printing, and charged me 40sen for 4 pages. Not complaining about the $ but the way they put all these up. Get into a comp lab have to write name, then go downstairs to collect your document, then if they're printing their stuffs, you'll have to wait, and that was what happened to me. Man, why can't they all put it in ONE place? And the whole campus is like a maze. Different departments in different building which situated in different nearby spots of Damansara. Gosh, I'm starting to appreciate my own college :p ONE campus ;)
Then la the picking up part. Asked me to go McD's and I couldn't find McD's. Realised that McD's is at the main building which I had to take a feeder bus there. Hehe...made his parents turn back to the John Hancock building cos I could only find my way there. :P
Sigh, so much for today. Oh, then we went to Cyberjaya...my college this time :P Hehe..the black building. :P Woon saw Tan Sri Lim Kok Wing and said he looked like some old woman, with the hairstyle and all :P Hehe...I totally have no comment on him :P But yea, he has a very bad hairstyle. Artists should look better than those ok. ...
Yea, so those were the things that happened today. Got more actually but well, I'll just leave that for one of the books or perhaps my baby might want to blog about it :P Dunno. I've been sitting here since like.....10.30pm? Came to blog something ended up chatting and finishing the blog only now, 12.50am. Came home at 10pm and haven't even showered yet!!! Eeee...sticky and dirtyy....
Listening to :- Sarah McLachlan - Fallen
It's Monday 1.47am and I can't sleep. Pretty surprised I can't sleep considering I had a really tiring day, and weekend. Stayed over at my darling's place over the weekend. Went over on Saturday afternoon, and knowing the pig I am I slept on the couch in her living room while she went off to her church for her concert practice. Nah, I wasn't being a pig. I was really tired as well. Didn't sleep that well the previous night, was kinda using the comp playing games till early morning 3am. Anyway, arrived at the Nilai KTM station, and had to wait for 45 minutes before Julz and her neighbor (cuz her parents were kinda busy) came to pick me up. Well well well looks like I wasn't the only pig, someone was sleeping when she was supposed to come pick me up :) Anyway I didn't really mind waiting, I went looking for this mamak place to get a drink or eat something but then couldn't find it. She said that for being late she'd "make it up to me", and though it wasn't necessary but I found it really sweet that she said that. Well, thats my darling :)So yea when we got back to her house I laid back on the sofa and rested my eyes. She then came over to me and gave me a few kisses, a few I think, lol. Felt like I was dreaming right then. :P Then I went to the longer couch and slept there. My darling was so nice to turn on the fan so I wouldn't feel hot. Then a few more kisses and I completely dozed off.
Woke up at about 5.30pm I think, and could hear mom-in-law cooking or something in the kitchen. Slept for 3 hours +. Slept well too. Remembered that my darling woke me up before she left for concert practice and let me know she was leaving. Remember getting a kiss and her saying "rest well" before I completely went back to sleep. Am I really being a pig? :P If so I'm a really pampered one.
Had dinner outside at a chinese restaurant with her and (dad&mom)-in-law after picking her up from church. Food was pretty good, better than that Vietnamese restaurant we had the last time. As usual, I had 2 bowls of rice. Would've had more since I didn't eat lunch, and since everytime I go dine at a chinese restaurants I always eat a few bowls of rice. But then after my 2nd bowl there wasn't any of 'choi' left, so I passed on that 3rd bowl of rice :P
Went back to church after dinner, to help out with some banner thingy. The youths were creating some banner using spray paint, with the words "Dare to defy da' NORM" sprayed graffiti-style in black on a cloth with a yellow-sprayed background. Came out pretty decent. I didn't really help in the spraying, I actually looked on most of the time. The youth people were quite fun, the guys were pretty wacko and all, playing with the spray cans and then posing and taking pictures like they were doing a photoshoot for an album cover. I was outside with them and my darling was inside the building helping out on some drawing for the Sunday School. Had a great time, and got to know the peeps there better. Went back to my darling's house at about 1am, and I could almost hardly walk. Was quiiiite tired and so after taking a shower I went to sleep.
And I thought that was tiring. Woke up 10.30am the next day, only after being woken a few times by my sweetie. Haha ok I AM a pig! Realized church service started at 10am and by the time we all got to church it was 11am. 1 hour late. The place was packed already. I'm still not that used to the church service here. It's so different compared to the ones I usually attend. Speaking in tongues, long worship times and well, the entire service's different. Service ended at about 5pm. 7 hours of service. WOW! I am so gonna need to get used to it. I like the service, just that it needs getting used to. Oh the church's name is "Semarak Revival Center" for the curious ones.
Good thing they had refreshments and provided ...erm... lunch? Well lunch or tea (it was 5pm) but the last thing I ate before that was pancakes and kaya in the morning. Then the girls of the youth were having some ice-cream and coke float sales to raise funds for their concert. To be honest ice cream with Coke tastes a bit weird, not as nice as Root Beer with ice cream. I had my darling get me a float with half-scoop strawberry and half-scoop vanilla. I think I was the only one so 'picky' to choose half-scoops of this and that.
Anyway, while waiting for my darling and her friends to finish selling the floats I listened to some voice recordings on my phone that she left me. There were 3 recordings. First one was really sweet. Hehe. She sounded soooooo cute and so.... kiddy... lol... I loved it. Maybe I'll find a way to post it up here if I can. :P 2nd and 3rd recordings, well, I'm not gonna elaborate on those two, I'm just gonna say that I didn't realize I snored so loud while sleeping........ PAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Hey, my darling's not all sweet, she can be evil sometimes. :P
Went home after her parents came to pick us up from church. Julz wanted me to stay longer, and wanted me to go home after dinner. I was kinda tired and wanted to go home then. So I went home. Kinda felt bad after that, felt like I should've stayed longer with her. But I didn't wanna go home too late, cuz I've been going home late a number of times already, and I was tired. The worship kinda knocked me out. Slept on the KTM back to Sentral, and yet again, I nearly missed my station. *shrugs*
Well was kinda thinking a bit just now while lying on the bed after taking my shower. Recently there's been quite a lil tension between us, though most of them just end up being a misunderstanding. I guess one problem with me is that I forget things easily. I don't have a good memory, unlike most people. I mean, I REALLY dont have a good memory. And then so happens the other time I forgot that next week's her concert week, and I made plans with my other friends. She got mad, or frustrated, I don't really know. After realizing my mistake I cancelled my plans with my other friends, but she was still being moody and all. I then got really irritated too, at the fact that she didn't wanna tell me whats wrong or whats on her mind, and at the fact that I apologised and tried to make things right but she kept on being moody. We sorta got into a silent argument after that. Sigh. Me getting irritated and frustrated didn't help things much. I knew I was wrong in being irritated and all, and after some talk things got straightened out. But I was really scared during that time, scared that I would just blurt something out, something that would make things worse, etc, scared that I would lose her then. I guess I was selfish, cuz I didn't understand why she didn't wanna share things with me that time, didn't wanna tell me whats on her mind. Is it true that somethings are just hard to say, sometimes too many thoughts cloud the mind and makes it hard to translate thoughts into words? I can't say it's not true, cuz it happened to me before, and that was what was going on with her. Guess I shouldn't have pushed her to say things that she can't. I promised to her, and to myself, that I won't.
Then there are a few minor issues, like sometimes she feels like I'm obliged or forced to do things with her. Tomorow we'll be going over to her college to get some stuff, and we were talking about the plans on how to get there since there was an obvious transportation and cost problem. Yea maybe I sounded reluctant in going, cuz I was just gonna follow her there to get stuff then come back. But that's just me. Sometimes I can get sarcastic without myself knowing it, and it will sound like I'm serious. Thats another problem with me I guess. =/ But I wasn't reluctant at all in going. I wanted to spend more time with her, cuz we didn't really spend much time together during the weekend, not as much as I expected. Maybe I haven't made her secure enough, maybe I haven't convinced her that I would do ANYTHING for her, even if it means accompanying her to her college and having lunch together and then coming back home. I hope one day she'll be convinced of that. Till then, I'll be trying and giving my all to accomplish that.
-----------------------------------------------------
.....
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
.....
-----------------------------------------------------
It's 3am and I gotta wake up at 9am later. Long day too :)
Goodnight world. Sweet dreams my love.
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Wonder if keeping so many (or at least a few) blogspots actually have a bad side. At the moment, I keep a personal diary, Woon and I are keeping another book as a momento of what we did together and what happened to us or when we're together (or so it was my idea), and then this blog which I'm sharing with him now :P Well, it's just that I had things to say when I got back from church this afternoon and I have already written down some of the stuffs in one of the books. And just now, I didn't know how to start; or rather, I didn't know what to write. ...
Nevermind, I'll just post whatever that runs through my mind. The use of the phrase 'just now'. From what I used to learned, the phrase is used to describe a time passed not long ago, as in 'tadi'. I once met this American lecturer in the place I used to work, he often asked me this question "Are you going home just now?" when usually we people will say "Are you going home now?" Hmm, just wondering if that's another common mistake in Malaysia :P
Wondering if these few weeks spent...was a lil too much...or how shall I put it? Too often? Dunno. Can't seem to find the right words now. Just that sometimes situation gets a lil bit uptight and irritations and misunderstandings happen. Sigh. Dunno. I guess maybe I'm just 'adjourning' to the 'higher' level in a relationship :P Or Maybe things just got more serious and I didn't actually think this deeply in the beginning. I mean, I know it's something serious but I didn't think it'll be this serious, and frankly, I have never given it a deep thought about our future; or at least not as far as him :P
I guess people will just have to grow, whether they like it or not. I don't mean I'm not trying to grow or I don't wanna grow, but just that when you grow more matured, you tend to have more thoughts, more responsibilties, more cares, more obligations, just more of everything. Okay, let's just stop there before I mess myself up again. I'm starting to feel a lil messy now. What I know now, and I can say, is that if I'm am freaked out about this now [which I'm not], there's a greater fear for me to care about in the future. Am I making sense here? It made sense to me just now :P Okay, nevermind. Let's stop.
So my baby came over yesterday morning. He slept while I was off to my band practise which ended late in the evening. Until dinner time, in fact :P And then had to go back to church to do a banner for our concert this Saturday. See, all these happen when you have insufficient number of people in your youth group. The number of youths you can gather to form an evangelistic concert, is the same number of people that can help in organising other agendas and preparing props for it. Hehe, not complaining but it has been loads of fun. Tiring, but fun. Went thru lotsa worries, burdening times, unsatisfactory, inconfidence...but now, altho it is not over yet, I think we're gonna miss those times. We're gonna miss each other as in jamming together, or doing some drama or movie together :P Hehe. gosh, it'll always stay cool in us :P At least for me :P
Anyway, yea, back to what i started off with :P Hehe, my baby slept sooo soundly. Guess what he did in his sleep? :P Hehe...nah, I'm not gonna tell it...You ask him :P
Sunday sevice ended late today. Like the past few weeks, it ended around 4pm, if I'm not mistaken. Worsip was so great! :P Hehe, so long nvr played with the tambourine edy. Nice playing it with Jia Yee :P And then had to sell floats again...wahlau...ppl come to buy all att one time man. Like those times when I used to help my mom out at her stall. Busy like mad. But my baby bought me a float :P Hehe..upon request :P ...
Hmm, I'm supposed to write a formal letter for my college accommodation. How did I end up here? :P Gonna go to my college tomorrow. Hope tomorrow's not a bummer. And those people in the Students' Services Dept. better be good. LUCT's staffs just .... ugh!!
Thirsty thirsty. How nice to have another float now :P Hehe. Nites...or rather morning ;P
Nevermind, I'll just post whatever that runs through my mind. The use of the phrase 'just now'. From what I used to learned, the phrase is used to describe a time passed not long ago, as in 'tadi'. I once met this American lecturer in the place I used to work, he often asked me this question "Are you going home just now?" when usually we people will say "Are you going home now?" Hmm, just wondering if that's another common mistake in Malaysia :P
Wondering if these few weeks spent...was a lil too much...or how shall I put it? Too often? Dunno. Can't seem to find the right words now. Just that sometimes situation gets a lil bit uptight and irritations and misunderstandings happen. Sigh. Dunno. I guess maybe I'm just 'adjourning' to the 'higher' level in a relationship :P Or Maybe things just got more serious and I didn't actually think this deeply in the beginning. I mean, I know it's something serious but I didn't think it'll be this serious, and frankly, I have never given it a deep thought about our future; or at least not as far as him :P
I guess people will just have to grow, whether they like it or not. I don't mean I'm not trying to grow or I don't wanna grow, but just that when you grow more matured, you tend to have more thoughts, more responsibilties, more cares, more obligations, just more of everything. Okay, let's just stop there before I mess myself up again. I'm starting to feel a lil messy now. What I know now, and I can say, is that if I'm am freaked out about this now [which I'm not], there's a greater fear for me to care about in the future. Am I making sense here? It made sense to me just now :P Okay, nevermind. Let's stop.
So my baby came over yesterday morning. He slept while I was off to my band practise which ended late in the evening. Until dinner time, in fact :P And then had to go back to church to do a banner for our concert this Saturday. See, all these happen when you have insufficient number of people in your youth group. The number of youths you can gather to form an evangelistic concert, is the same number of people that can help in organising other agendas and preparing props for it. Hehe, not complaining but it has been loads of fun. Tiring, but fun. Went thru lotsa worries, burdening times, unsatisfactory, inconfidence...but now, altho it is not over yet, I think we're gonna miss those times. We're gonna miss each other as in jamming together, or doing some drama or movie together :P Hehe. gosh, it'll always stay cool in us :P At least for me :P
Anyway, yea, back to what i started off with :P Hehe, my baby slept sooo soundly. Guess what he did in his sleep? :P Hehe...nah, I'm not gonna tell it...You ask him :P
Sunday sevice ended late today. Like the past few weeks, it ended around 4pm, if I'm not mistaken. Worsip was so great! :P Hehe, so long nvr played with the tambourine edy. Nice playing it with Jia Yee :P And then had to sell floats again...wahlau...ppl come to buy all att one time man. Like those times when I used to help my mom out at her stall. Busy like mad. But my baby bought me a float :P Hehe..upon request :P ...
Hmm, I'm supposed to write a formal letter for my college accommodation. How did I end up here? :P Gonna go to my college tomorrow. Hope tomorrow's not a bummer. And those people in the Students' Services Dept. better be good. LUCT's staffs just .... ugh!!
Thirsty thirsty. How nice to have another float now :P Hehe. Nites...or rather morning ;P
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Wee...!!!! I'm in Woony's page!! bwahaha... :P Hmm...still in a daze. Just came home from the movie, Prince and Me. Julia Stiles!! ;P Almost made me cry..eee...esp when she wanted to leave the Prince..but felt so nice holding Woon in my arms then ;P
Hmm..ok...I'm just so used to keeping a diary as in a book for myself..am free to write just about anything. Yea, so we're home now...I mean, in his house :P Had a great dinner wif his family todayy...great big eaters :P no offence. hehe...ok..so I'm not a big eater...like someone :P
Hmm...so many distractions...take so long js to write something..got another book waiting to b filled oso larrr....hmm...and I'm so lazy :P Tata for now ;) =) *muackz*
Oh..happy 7th-month anniversary baby ;) *muackz* We've been on a rollercoaster for 7 months... :P
Hmm..ok...I'm just so used to keeping a diary as in a book for myself..am free to write just about anything. Yea, so we're home now...I mean, in his house :P Had a great dinner wif his family todayy...great big eaters :P no offence. hehe...ok..so I'm not a big eater...like someone :P
Hmm...so many distractions...take so long js to write something..got another book waiting to b filled oso larrr....hmm...and I'm so lazy :P Tata for now ;) =) *muackz*
Oh..happy 7th-month anniversary baby ;) *muackz* We've been on a rollercoaster for 7 months... :P
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Hoobastank - The Reason
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Life seems like a fairytale now. I'm back in Kuala Lumpur for my summer holidays. I've spent wonderful times with my darling since I got back two weeks ago. It's been two weeks =/ and there's just another month left. Heh, how much can I ask for?
I know it's been a long time since I posted. I'll make it up and write a looong one this time :) Well, one reason, or excuse whatever suits, was that I didnt really have the mood to blog anything for almost the entirety of last month. I can't do things if I don't have the mood to do it, thats just me. Then I had my exams and finals (which was a pretty horrible yet enlightening and awakening experience for me, more later...) and also some university stuff I had to do. In simple words, I was busy :P
Did I mention I had a terrible exam? Well, I had all 3 final exams on one day. First time in my entire 2 years in college I've had all my exams on one day. Well there's a first for everything right? Anyway, so I had my History 17A (Early US History 1700-1800) at 7.30am-9.30am, Biology 10 (Introduction to Biology) at 12.30pm-2.30pm, and Physics 4B (Electricity and Magnetism) at 6.15pm-8.15pm. Exams the whole day!! So the problems started I guess with me not sleeping the previous night, cuz I was studying for all my exams, or rather as many people say it, burning the midnight(and early morning) oil. I thought I would make it through the day, and surprise surprise!! I didn't. I got through History and Bio very well, expecting both As for those two classes. Physics was a different story. After Bio I was extreeeemly tired, exhausted, and sleepy. I got back home, went straight to my Physics book, and started studying for my Physics final. I knew I should've went to Starbucks to get some coffee and study there, but I figured studying in my room was good enough. Guess what? I dozed off while studying. My exam started at 6.30pm. I dozed off at around 5pm. Yes I know you know what happened and I can hear the OMGs and WTHs everywhere. For those of you who still have not the slightest idea, I slept and I didn't wake up till 7.45pm, which was half an hour before my final ENDS!!!! Oh, and not forgetting I have a C in the class before my final exam, and I had to get a 50% our of 100% to maintain the C. Missing the final exam equals an automatic F in the class. Yup yup I had to ge a C or more or else my university admission would be voided. I woke up, looked at my alarm clock staring at me in the face with the numbers 7:42 and I jumped out literally, gathered myself and after being fully aware of what happened, I screamed, panicked, well you name it. I regained my sanity after a while and hurried to school, and by the time I reached the class I had 15 minutes left to do the exam =( 15 minutes to do a 2 hour exam with 7 questions. I could feel my eyes gettng watery as I was doing the paper. All the panic and frustration and everything made me go blank. I thought I was still dreaming, sadly I wasn't. I did partially 5 questions and another 2 questions I left blank cuz I didnt know how to do them. 5/7 questions, and all partially done. I had like a 20% chance of getting a 50/100. =/
I went home, called my parents told them what happened, call my uncle and aunt as well as my dearest. I cried while talking to my parents. That was the 2nd time I cried that much. It was my LAST exam and the exam that would determine my entry into UC Berkeley and I messed it up!!! Life just likes to play tricks on me. It wasn't the only time it has done something like that, to make things seem so good then at the end mess it up for whatsoever reason. Happens like a gazillion times already. When I called Julia I was crying, but without the tears - there weren't any tears left =/ That day all the stress and emotions and everything that accumulated inside me erupted all at once. The thought of disappointing my parents, my family, everyone, and also the thought of not being able to go back to KL to see Julia cuz if I failed I will have to stay back durign summer to retake my Physics in summer (which is not offered in my college but in another college 1 bus ride away) - all that plus a lot of other thoughts was just too much for me to handle.
And so I did something I don't do often - pray to God. I prayed kneeling down on my bed, praying to God that everything would turn out right, praying that a miracle would happen and I will actually get a C in my Physics class. I asked God for forgiveness for not giving him praise for a long time, for not going to church and straying away from the Christian path. I prayed that if me failing my exams would be a punishment for me then so be it. If God has other plans for me instead of Computer Science or whatever then so be it. I promised God that whatever happens, it's God's will and I promised to be a better Christian and go to church every week, and to be on fire for God. It's hard, but I will try my best. I went outside my house, sat down by the road on the pavement, stared at the sky and the few stars that dotted it, and just sat there. The night was quiet, hardly anything disturbed the serenity and peace except for this one street light that was continuously dimming and getting brighter. I wished I could live a life like that. Quiet, peaceful, away from the stresses and chaos of everyday life, and just do nothing but seek peace.
And so the drama's over, the climax of the story reached. I realised I could do nothing but just pray that a miracle would happen, and just put my trust in God. I did. It wasn't until 4 days later when I emailed my instructor for my results, and he replied. The instant I saw the email in my inbox my heart was going bonkers. Moving my mouse and clicking on the email seemed like forever and was torturous. I opened the email that contained a letter of the alphabet. It wasn't an A (doh), wasn't an F (phew!), wasn't a B (doh again), but wasn't a D either!! My prayers were answered and miraculously I got a C!!!! Praise God!! I was soooooo happy and if any of you were there I would treat you to a nice expensive dinner I don't care lol. Bottomline is, I learnt a lot of things. Trusting God and putting faith in him is one, sleeping before the day of finals is another. God is good but I shouldn't 'test' Him up there all the time thats why my mom and aunt says lol. And I won't.
I guess if life didn't play tricks on me life wouldn't be so exciting and meaningful. If dreams were the same all the time it wouldn't be fun. If directors didn't play tricks on their audiences in the movies then nobody would watch them. If I were to choose between a life full of happiness only and a life with a mix of happiness and sadness and positive as well as negative emotions, I'd choose the latter. I wouldn't want to die till I've experienced all the feelings one can experience as a human being.
I'm happy being here back in KL and all. Julia was there waiting for me at the airport. I was so overjoyed and ecsatatic being able to see her again after 6 months. Probably not many of you've been apart from your love for so long and then seeing them again, being able to touch and hug and kiss and feel the warmth of the other person again. Feels alot better than if you hadn't been apart frm that person for a long time. Much much better.
Well so far these two weeks here in KL most of my time's been spent with Julia, the other with my other love - bowling. Speaking of bowling, there's a novice bowling competition coming soon on the 27th in Midvalley Cosmic Bowl. Don't know if I wanna join just for kicks. After all it's a beginner's competition and I'm a beginner. 35 bucks and the prize is... oh wait I don't know.... Anyway nevermind. Mmmmm so many things to do the next month. Gonna go catch a movie with her later today. Watching "Prince and Me". Don't know if it's nice or not but there aren't any nice movies to watch that I haven't watched. King Arthur's out on Thursday which is tomorow. I tought we could catch King Arthur tomorow as well but it's gonna be 11 bucks tomorow and Julz says can wait till next Wednesday. Then Friday I'll be going over to her place till Sunday night. Next week probably do something which I promised her I would do - ice skating, most likely at the Mines since Pyramid's more expensive and quite packed. A couple of things that I wanna do together with her before I get back to the US next month too, but I'll leave that to blog for another day.
I wish I could stay in KL longer. Wish UC Berkeley was located here in KL. I dont wanna leaveeee!!! *sob*. And it's 2.03AM and I have to wake up at 10am later. Slept at 3am yesterday, ended up waking at 3pm. Gonna get some rest. I have soo much more to type yet so little energy to do so. Well, I guess I'll jet.
Goodnight world.