-=Listening to -:- Percy Sledge - Warm and Tender Love
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! It was sooooooo cold this morning when I walked to the bus stop to go to school. No free bus rides on Friday so gonna have to spend 3$ on bus fares today. *Expensive* =\ . Well today was cold, at least in the morning lar. I was gritting my teeth and shivering so badly on the way to the bus stop and its not easy to walk while shivering and tensing ur muscles. I need body warmth!! Juuuliiaaaaaaa! I miss the warmth I feel while holding you and having u in my arms. =| Tiring. Tiring. Tiring!!! Didn't sleep for one whole night last night. Well I didn't feel like sleeping actually. Happily set my alarm clocks and turn off the lights and comfortably lying under my warrrm comforter already, then sekali had a 'mood swing' and didn't feel like sleeping the whole night. *shrugs* I guess it was what happened throughout the day.
Sooo sleepy nowwwwwwwwww!!!! Kinda surprising I didn't fall asleep during Math class. Oh and I was late for Math class. There goes 5 points. =( I despise taking public buses. You'd think that public transportation here's well funded and punctual. Well, think again! I arrived at the bus stop at 9.00am. The was supposed to be a bus at 8.05/8.10am. But nooooooooo the bus happily took it's own sweet time and arrived at the bus stop at 8.17am. And its 10 minutes to school + another 5 minutes to walk to my class which is on the other end of where I get down from the bus. Yerrrrrr. Stupid bus cost me 5 points, and 3$.
I'm at the Media Lab at my college now. Well Media Lab = Computer Lab. College has a few Computer Labs. The main one is in a building of its own but the PCs there can only be used for college work and you'll only be given a user/password of your own to the computers there IF and only if you are enrolled in a computer-related class or certain business classes. Surf the net over there or do any personal stuff or even type your English assignments over there and you'll get kicked out. Heh. Well I've never been kicked out before but I've gotten warnings :P The comp lab I'm in now's the Open Media Lab which can be used for anything, well almost anything except pornography/games :P There's also another lab with 10 PCs thats inside the library and you can do anything you want there too.
Yesterday was.... interesting. Had a killer Math quiz and I only got a 4/5. I came home really tired, especially since my Physics class was soo... deep.... and knowing myself I'm not that good in Physics and I take like an hour just to understand a certain concept. I take like one hour or more to solve a single Physics problem sometimes. Dunno. I realize that I can't synthesize all the theories and apply them to problem-solving well enough, and that I take a long time to understand or figure out a way to solve a problem. I mean, in the end I can solve lar, but it just takes me a long time, longer than most students I guess. *sigh* that's probably why I don't do well in my Physics quizzes cuz it's only 5 mins or longer allocated to solve a problem and even though I know how to do the problem I panic and everything just goes *blank*. I think I'm jinxed. A lot of times when I work hard for something, and in the end something random happens which just screws me up. Take my most recent experience, in the Physics quiz I took last week. I was supposed to find the position vector of a body relative to another body, and give the answer in polar form. Polar form????? What the....????? I mean, thats MATH. I learnt how to do that in Math 1B which I took last year, and so it happens that I can't remember how. I don't have a really good memory too . AND I didn't know he would ask the question to be in polar form. I got the right position vector. I just didn't know how to convert it to polar form. See?? Random events which just screws me up. If it wasn't for the polar thingy I would've aced the quiz. The book doesn't even teach us to convert to polar form, so I guess I didn't expect him to ask it that way. Ahhhh! It's so discouraging sometimes when you work for something so hard and in the end something else happens which just ruins everything for you, something out of your control and unexpected. ='(
Well I came home, wanted to do some reading and finish up Math Chapter 2.5 homework but I only did the homework and didn't bother to read up on my Physics and C++ programming stuff. Didn't have any mood to do anything. I have this 'mood swing' problem. Heh. At about 6pm I got an unexpected call from my parents. *sigh* I haven't called them since I came back here to the US and when they asked me why I haven't called I felt so guilty =\ Mum asked me how was my studies and my results last quarter, and yea I told her my results. All As for the classes I took last quarter :) Then told my mum that I'm not doing so well this quarter cuz of my Physics, and I know for certain I won't get an A for my Physics, and it's gonna pull down my GPA (grade point average) if I don't get an A. And when my grade goes down more, lesser chance of me getting accepted into Berkeley lar. Well it's not like my grades are any good now anyway, I mean, my grades are now a borderline 3.5 and to get into Berkeley a 3.5 is borderline. Get a B or a C for my Physics, and it's gonna pull me down to 3.4, which will almost certain make my chances to get into Berkeley EXTREMELY slim =( Told my mum I shouldn't have came here to the US to study, that I didn't deserve being spent so much money on, cuz I don't do well academically anyway. Well I knew I wouldn't do well and I didnt wanna come here in the first place. I just felt soooo guilty and felt that I'm gonna disappoint a lot of people especially my parents. Not that I come here to have fun and just screw my studies, but I dare say that I have worked hard for my classes, and it's just some classes which I can't do, and some random screw-ups that happen. Then Mum said something reaaaaalllly unexpected. She told me to believe in myself, and just do my best and even if I don't do well, it's okay as long as I did my best. Also mentioned that if I didn't get into Berkeley or any uni that I applied to, its okay and what to do after that can be decided later. *sigh* I could feel my eyes water already, and when she said
"Just do your best lar. Even if you don't do very well we're here to support you and encourage you so don't worry okay"
, tears just fell. I just broke to tears hearing those encouraging words, especially from my parents, and knowing that they are there for me always, I just wished I'd call them more often before and I just wished I'd share with them my problems and stress too. I mean, honestly in my entire life, personal problems, stress, all of them I hardly ever went to my parents for help, though now I kinda wish I did. I don't really go to anyone for help, I mean, people I go to are usually God, my close friends, my sweetheart, and now I guess my parents =`( *sob* I love you mum and dad.
Physics class starting in 20 mins. Managed to do 2 physics problems in during my 1 and a half hour break just now. Heh.. 2. Oh well, Physics quiz's this coming Monday, Wednesday/Thursday will be my first Physics midterm. Then Tuesday I have my Math mid term. I guess I'm gonna have to get busy this weekend. I'm really hoping I will ace all my midterms and exams this coming week.
Listening to this song now by Joe Crocker and Jennifer Warnes
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Who knows what tomorrow brings
In a world, few hearts survive
All I know is the way i feel
When it's real, I keep it alive
The road is long, there are mountains in your way
But we climb a step every day
Love lift us up where we belong, where the eagles cry
On a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong, far from the world below
up where the clear winds blow
Some hang on to "used to be"
Live their lives, looking behind
All we have is here and now
All our life, out there to find
The road is long, there are mountains in our way,
But we climb them a step ev'ry day
Love lift us up where we belong, where the eagles cry
On a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong, far from the world
We know, up where the clear winds blow
Time goes by, no time to cry, life's you and I
A life today
Love lift us up where we belong, where the eagles cry
On a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong, far from the wolrd
We know, where the clear winds blow
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Nowadays been listening to online radio stations. Live365.com has quite a plentiful amount of radio stations. My fav one is, unsurprisingly, Love Songs Radio :P Gotta have Real Player to listen or you can download their player plugin automatically. Not much of a difference anyway. But the songs there all suit my kind of music :)
Whoah. I think this's my longest entry in like... months? Maybe longest ever? *shrugs* I can go on talking about more things but Physics class's gonna start soon. I'll save em for another day :) Hmm was thinking of updating my blog layout this weekend but got exams this coming week. I guess I'll do it after the exams. :)
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Lover's Day coming soon,
I'm sorry I can't be there with you to watch the moon.
Hope you keep me in your heart that day, always.
I know you will, you'll be here with me too, till the end of days :)
I love you Hsiao Wei.
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^^ Just wrote that out in.. one minute? lol. Don't even know how all that came out, but I think its decent *kembang* :P Self praise leads to self delusion but, ah what the heck I like my work :PPPP
Okay gonna go now. Wait for my call kay darling. You'll hear from me tomorow night :) (Saturday night Msian time).
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
>(^-^)<
