It's the worst day of my life....or maybe not so bad yet. May not be the WORST...but it is still bad. I really disappointed and pissed..actually more disappointed than pissed - Disppointed with myself, disappointed with 2 other friends, ... just so disappointed. Sigh...what is the problem here??!?? I was only trying to show my best performance and... sigh...

Or maybe I'm not even supposed to blame anyone or anything, cos it's not like I'm faultless. But days without them were actually good, in a way. I could finish my asses on time and I'm just so proud of that, honestly. Everyone who knows me, knows I'm a little Miss Late; for anything. For the past few days, I've stayed up on my own to finish up all my asses and I've done it. And you know what is good? I received compliments for my work from my friends who have seen it. I just felt so proud okay, honestly. Won't you feel good if it were for you? You spent hours working on the computer with those darn graphics, or a whole night drawing the interior of a bungalow using those darn technical pens that smeared on you and the floor and made you so dirty, and when you went to school, most of your peers check out on your work and commented how nice it is. You feel great right?

And then one thing HAD to bring me down. I don't know how to put them in words but i just gotta say it's really disappointing. You don't get what you expect and in fact, you didn't even learn from your previous mistakes, which is not to trust or rely on those group members anymore. Gah, what was I thinking?? That they would change? That they would be different from how they were during last sem? Oh well, it appeared to me that they haven't changed a bit. They're still the same old people I used to know.

To think back, without them, my days were actually brighter; but well, with the company of a new group of friends - friends who care more about their assignments and classes, friends who are more capable of doing things, and friends who are definitely responsible. Honestly speaking, these girls were really nice. In fact, I've started to hang out with them now, and everything just seem to go on so smoothly. Sigh, why did it just have to go down to the drain...

It's 10.41am now. Worked my ass thru since yest evening till 2am+ this morning, did a little design for a tutorial I was supposed to go, slept at 4am, set my alarm at 6am. I do remember hearing my alarm going off and me waking up to turn it off. But I was just so tired that my eyes couldn't even open. Haven't been sleeping much for the past few days and those darn dark rings are just getting bigger. The next moment I opened my eyes, it was already 8.50am, exactly the time the second bus leaves. My tutorial was at 9am, and there was another bus at 9.45am. Okay, so at this point, I'm being myself. I was still in a daze, so I thought I could rest for another few minutes. But that few minutes became an hour. I ended up waking at 9.50am. ............

I can't afford to take anymore cabs coz I haven't got much money and I have some printing to be done today. I've only got a 50bux in my purse now. Definitely not going to be enough if i take the cab. So, anyway, I have to skip today's tutorial [which is advisable to attend], go to school in the afternoon, look for my tutor, print out my submission for Material's class, and then flip through the pages of my Material's notes for this afternoon's quiz. What the foot?!??!? Quiz!!!!

Like... -_-" .........................

My eyes are like swollen now...no they're not literally swollen, but I just feel as if it's swollen. Dunno why but when my friend called me up to ask if I was going to school, a few drop of tears just rolled out automatically and I was a little choked with sobs. Yea, crybaby...wuteva you say. I did try to be strong lately but this is just disappointing. Look, I didn't choose to cry okay.

Sigh, wonder if anyone who reads this will understand. Hahah...but nevermind. Just wanna voice it out. I feel better now. Ciao. Gotta get ready for the noon bus.